It’s no secret that I’ve experienced my fair share of online dating. I’ve been divulging about my experiences with Tinder on social media and to my friends and family since the day I started using it. In today’s technology-driven society I feel like it would be weirder to find someone who’s never dabbled in the online dating world. For a while I even had an entire folder on my phone dedicated to online dating apps. Tinder, POF, Bumble, The Grade, the list goes on.
Last week I deleted the entire folder.
Up until last week, it’d been over a year since I started my online dating journey. I realized I was completely dependent on these apps for entertainment, social interaction, and positive reinforcement. When I was bored, lonely, or feeling bad about myself I’d start swiping and eventually I’d get the satisfaction I wanted. It wasn’t until recently that I realized depending on complete strangers for happiness is extremely unhealthy.
Not only that, but online dating is kind of unrealistic. It’s not in my nature to go up to a guy I find attractive in person. It’s just not something I’ve ever been comfortable doing. But for some reason I’m a lot more confident when all I have to do is type out a message and send it. There’s been so many times when I’ve made the first move on an online dating app and haven’t thought twice about it.
When you’re walking around in a public place, your main goal isn’t necessarily to “mate.” When you’re online dating, that’s exactly the intention. You find and talk to people you would’ve never crossed paths with otherwise and specifically meet up with them to see whether you’re a good match or not. With online dating we have more options than we know what to do with. Being able to sift through people like you choose produce at the grocery store is not realistic. I noticed that being able to talk to any guy I wanted and have hundreds of matches on Tinder gave me an ego and a false sense of security. Some guys I’ve talked to on Tinder would never give me the time of day if their first impression of me was in person rather than online.
With all of that said, I have met some awesome people using these dating apps that I still talk to. The outcomes of my online dating experiences have not all been negative and I actually walked away with some benefits.
But for now, I think I’m done with the online dating world.